Things I Tell Dogs All The Time. . .

. . .That I Should Take Into Consideration For Myself

Oh my god, you just ate an entire bowl of food, there’s no way you could still be hungry. Stop staring at the cabinet and go lay down.

You’re so needy. You need a hobby is what you need.

Stop barking! Its so loud, and no one understands you anyway.

Stop whining all the time! Your life is so good! They’d eat you for dinner in some countries!

Look at all this hair coming off of you! Is it your diet? You shouldn’t be shedding this much, I don’t think.

Okay, we both know you’ve already gotten that clean and now you’re just enjoying it.

Go outside! It’s beautiful out. And don’t just sit out there and mope on the porch.

Yes, something’s happening out there. Stop freaking out about it! You don’t have to be a part of everything that’s going on with everyone ever.


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